


Dress to Impress

by RoboticSpaceCase



Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: Bill is a sexy superstar and Dipper does paperwork, Drinking, Lots of time skipping tbh, M/M, Meeting the Parents, Mentions of boners but no sex lol, Office Job Dipper, Pop Star Bill, Tumblr Prompt, mention of drugs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-20
Updated: 2020-07-20
Packaged: 2021-03-04 19:41:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,374
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25391788
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RoboticSpaceCase/pseuds/RoboticSpaceCase
Summary: Heyo, here's a Tumblr prompt that was meant to be kept short but still ended up being long because it gave me a lot of ideas lolEnjoy!~
Relationships: Bill Cipher/Dipper Pines
Comments: 11
Kudos: 72





	Dress to Impress

**Author's Note:**

> Heyo, here's a Tumblr prompt that was meant to be kept short but still ended up being long because it gave me a lot of ideas lol
> 
> Enjoy!~

A successful life filled with firm handshakes and suits was all Dipper’s parents had wanted for him. And, for the most part, it was what he got. Through his early twenties to his later twenties, Dipper got into the entertainment industry and spent a lot of time writing up contracts for talent of every kind.

Dealing with the talent face to face had never been part of the job until Bill Cipher came along. Not only had the dancer/singer requested a meeting with everyone involved, but he also demanded that it be a party. All of the higher-ups wanted him on board so badly that they agreed and told Dipper that if he didn’t show up and have a good time, he’d be demoted and put so low on the food chain he might as well start looking for another job.

But Dipper hadn’t ever been to a party. Much less the party of one of the biggest, hottest, new and up-coming performers in the world. Bill Cipher had started out online, making videos of his outrageous personality and revealing outfits. People ate the oddity up and soon enough every scout in the world was scrambling to get him under their greedy contracts.

Dipper had put on his best suit, only for Mabel to force the jacket off of him and untuck his button-up.

“You’re lucky enough to be in the same building as Bill fucking Cipher, you can’t go in there looking like a total dweeb,” she had said while messing up his hair. “You have to look fun or you’ll probably get kicked right out!”

Her advice was taken to heart, all the way up until Dipper had actually arrived at the party, his proper suit jacket folded over his arm just in case Mabel had been wrong. And she had been. Kind of, anyway.

The giant house the party happened at had three floors, the main one being where a majority of his colleagues and bosses were. In the basement loud, ear-rupturing music could be heard and there was surely a dancefloor where people were going wild. The upper floor had been full of discrete whispers and side-glances that told Dipper that was where the “party favors” were.

Then, there was outside. Just like the inside, it had been decorated in the wildest, ugliest modern style with only black and yellow. Cipher’s signature colors. Which Dipper only knew because he watched some of Cipher’s tamer videos before the party, all of which had the blond in an extravagant golden robe, sitting on a large stuffed bear that had been ripped apart and sewn back together. Poorly.

Dipper, not wanting to have to actually speak to anyone he didn’t know, stayed on the main floor, inside where he could put his jacket back on and sit down with the one drink he planned on having that night. That is until his nerves got the better of him. His boss glanced at him several times, none of the looks ever being good ones. He had been the youngest at their company, even though he was nearly thirty. They expected him to be the one “in-touch” with the young scene.

Going outside couldn’t hurt, he had thought. Nothing too crazy could possibly happen from going out to sit on a lawn chair by the pool, ignored by lively supermodels posing for pictures to post online.

How wrong could a person be? Dipper had discovered that night that the answer was  _ very _ wrong. So wrong that he considered himself to be the wrongest person to ever walk the Earth because the second the door closed behind him, every pair of eyes locked onto him like targeted lasers ready to kill. And they did their job with that because Dipper had never once felt so close to fainting in his life. Except for maybe when he got his first F in eight grade.

“What a bold choice!” were the first words Cipher ever said to Dipper. “A suit for business instead of swimming to a pool party! Did you decide to leave the losers inside?”

Despite the fact that Dipper had frozen in fear, he was able to look over at Cipher to try and force out a response. But he was unable to do even that because Bill Cipher wasn’t someone one could look at and then simply talk to.

No, Bill Cipher in the flesh had to be marveled at first.

From the very tip of his gelled hair to the souls of his feet, Bill shined like Venus at dusk. Copper skin stretched over tone, extremely scantily clad muscles. The only thing standing between the warm night air and Bill’s bulge was a thin speedo. Over his shoulders sat a black feather boa that paired well with the strategically placed piercings, all of which sparkled just as brightly as he did in the low light.

If he had just listened to Mabel, maybe Dipper wouldn’t have been zeroed in on so quickly by the pop star. Maybe he wouldn’t be frozen in place while the gorgeous, taller man walked right up to him, his glittery eyeshadow like a disco ball that Dipper could only try not to be blinded by.

“Do you talk or is the stick up your ass keeping things a little too tight?” Bill didn’t look happy, he had to say something or he’d lose his job, the job his parents were so proud of.

“Inside was too hot,” was all he could force out, his voice cracking as if he were a young teen all over again.

“Well, I can help with that.” Bill’s hands went to Dipper’s shoulders where he slid the jacket off, Dipper not able to move enough to stop it from falling right to the ground. “I think you need some help relaxing.”

Unable to do much about it, Dipper ended up sitting right next to Bill. Someone kept handing him drinks and not wanting to be rude, he drank them. And he kept drinking them until he no longer had any idea where he was or why he was there. All he knew was that the next morning, he woke up without his shirt in a bed that had enough weird dolls and stuffed animals to drown in.

It had, apparently, been Bill’s guest room. The blond came in announcing that he wanted to take full responsibility for whatever punishment Dipper got from his bosses and that he wasn’t going to rest until Dipper was feeling good enough to drive home.

Then, the popstar sat on the bed next to Dipper and started to chat with him normally about life, one of the other party-goers bringing in painkillers and vitamin water for Dipper.

He learned that morning that, even though he put on quite the show online, Bill Cipher could be very down to Earth and a nice guy. To Dipper, at least. And maybe the alcohol had still been in his system, just enough of it to make him learn also that Bill Cipher had magic hips that lasted well into lunch.

Dipper returned home covered in hickeys and his head pounded from the partying. His phone had been going off nonstop, all angry voicemails from his boss telling him that if Cipher didn’t sign on, he was fired for his behavior. In his drunken stupor, Dipper had loudly announced that Bill was the hottest man alive before nearly falling in the pool with a martini. His bosses had seen it all through the windows.

Tired and anxious, he took a shower and set his phone on the charger. On silent. When he came back to it hours later, the voicemails had gone from angry to nothing but praise. Cipher had signed on with them under the condition that Dipper be the one he worked with the most. They had agreed on his behalf and from there, Dipper’s life had gone from a cushy office job to constant meetings where all he did was follow Bill around and listen to the himbo make all sorts of crazy demands.

For a whole year, Dipper worked closely with Bill, the two of them barely hiding the fact that they were sleeping together. If Dipper hadn’t gone so head over heels for Bill, he would’ve died from embarrassment every time one of his coworkers saw any of the marks Cipher left. At least spending so much time with him made Dipper a little braver.

Though word of their relationship got out to the world and soon enough Dipper’s parents sent a hesitant invitation for dinner to Dipper to meet Bill. They had never once made anything official, he thought Bill was just having fun with him as a friend with benefits. But the second he stuttered his way through the invitation, Bill was excitedly blabbering on about how much fun it would be.

Dipper had told the blond to meet him at his place before they left for his parents’ house so that they could have a small talk first. He was ready to apologize, to explain that his parents had never once been the type to be open to someone so extravagant. But Bill showed up in a nice dress shirt, comfortable, nice jeans, and barely any makeup on.

“You’re…”

“Not dressed like normal? No, I’m not,” Bill laughed. “I know I’m a lot for people to take in at first and I figured if we’re meeting your parents that I should clean up a little so we can actually talk and enjoy dinner.” Bill wrapped his arms around Dipper, pulling him close enough to kiss. “I do know how to behave, you know.”

Of course Bill could pull himself together. And of course he would know that Dipper was anxious and would want to talk first. The blond read him so well, it was half endearing half annoying.

“Right. Uh, well, we should go.” Dipper smiled and kissed Bill then wiggled out of his grasp. “My dad is all about being on time, he’ll be judgy if we’re late.”

The car ride there was oddly quiet, Bill not blasting his usual songs or singing along to them as if his life depended on it. Instead, Cipher held Dipper’s free hand while he drove, rubbing his thumb over his knuckles. They had never been so tame with each other, Dipper had to wonder if it was Bill’s way of making things official.

When they arrived, Dipper gulped and knocked on the door, his stiff posture only relaxing when Bill smiled and blew a kiss at him. Bill always could melt his mood in the best way possible.

“Oh, Dipper, it’s so nice to see you! And this must be Bill!” His mother had relief painted on her face when her eyes landed on a man that didn’t look like the half-naked sparkly one she probably saw when she looked him up. “We’re having steak and salad, I hope you’ll like it.”

“The pleasure is all mine, Mrs. Pines. And that sounds lovely, thank you.” Bill pulled Dipper inside, the three of them going to the living room where his father was getting out of his usual spot to greet them.

“William, it’s nice to finally meet you. You look…”

“Different, I know. I get that a lot,” Bill chuckled. “My job is mostly playing a character, though I can actually sing and dance. Playing it up for the camera just makes it more likely for people to watch.”

“Understandable, I suppose.” Dipper’s dad motioned to the dining room. “We know you’re both very busy people so we have dinner ready if you’re ready to sit with us.”

Then, what Dipper believed to be impossible, happened before his very eyes. He and Bill sat down and had a nice dinner with his parents, the blond behaving perfectly the entire time. His parents had even loosened up by the end of the night without the aid of alcohol.

“You have a way with people that bewilders me,” Dipper admitted as they got back into the car. “They loved you and I was so sure they would be asking us to leave because they’re such prudes.”

“Prudes are the easiest for me to talk to,” Bill snorted, buckling himself in. “Why do you think I was so quick to pounce on you? A cute guy in a stuffy suit at one of my parties is my exact type. Everyone with a stick up their ass is always looking for a reason to relax, so you just have to hit the soft spots and they’re putty in your hands.”

Dipper shook his head, not fully understanding what Bill meant but not questioning it either. The two of them sat quietly again for a little while, only for Dipper’s nerves to once again push him into action. “So… you’ve met my parents now.”

“I have,” Bill drawled. “What about it? I thought we just agreed that it went well.”

“It did, it did.” Dipper pulled the car to the side of the road, sucking in a deep breath. “So what does this-” Before he could ask his question, Bill grabbed the front of his shirt and yanked him closer, mashing their lips together.

If they hadn’t been in the car, Dipper was sure the other would strip him right then by the way he moaned into the kiss.

“It means we’re boyfriends, yes,” he said breathlessly when he finally let up. “I wouldn’t meet just anyone’s parents, you know. You’re kind of special, Dipper Pines.”

There Bill went again, knowing Dipper all too well. This time it was much more endearing, though. “You’re kind of special, too, Bill. T-to me, I mean. And thank you for changing things up so that my parents didn’t run away screaming.”

The blond chuckled, sitting back in his seat and adjusting his seatbelt. “Of course, Dipper. But we should really get home. Pants are my worst enemy and kissing you gave me a boner so now they’re even worse.”

“Right, we’ll take care of that at home.” Dipper winked then pulled away from the curb, glad that his once boring life now had Bill in it to keep things from ever getting boring.

**Author's Note:**

> Gotta love Bill for his ability to blend in with normies lol
> 
> Comments are appreciated! <3


End file.
